NATASHA BEDINGFIELD AND INAPPROPRIATE CAKES: PART 1

I am teaching a Set 2 Year 8 class. They’re a genuinely lovely bunch. Well-behaved, responsive and they interact well with each other. This is the sort of class the phrase ‘a pleasure to teach’ was invented for. Unfortunately, however, they have completely forgotten what a simile is which is pretty crucial to the continuation of our lesson.

They have already learnt this so, rather than launch into a lengthy explanation, I decide to give them a prompt. Being the incredibly cool teacher that I am and thinking on the hoof, I do so with a pop culture reference to a Natasha Bedingfield song which was doing the rounds at the time.

I tell them that there is a very obvious simile in the song. ‘Can anyone remember the name of the song?’ I ask. The song I am thinking of is an innocent enough ditty called ‘What If?’ which includes the delightful pop simile: ‘All the worries on my list / Rush like lemmings off a cliff…’

Unbeknown to me, however, the charming Natasha had another song with a very different name out at the same time. I am alerted to this fact when a garrulous girl in the middle of the class answers my question by shouting out:

“Oh, Sir! ‘I Wanna Have Your Babies’!’

I look at her with a knowing eyebrow-arch. She is aware that something is awry but isn’t quite sure what. I wait for the penny to drop. It takes all of 5 seconds for the class to erupt. I sit down on my wheelie-chair and drop my head onto the desk in comedic despair.